Lily Lee

I guess there is no real easy way for me to start this story especially because it's about me. Ever since I was born I've learned to just hold my emotions in including my thoughts and opinions , and well now I guess this is just hard for me to open up. My whole life even when I was a little girl I had amazing Goals I knew I wanted to help woman all around the world from violence and abuse I even laugh at times because I wanted to be the most successful doctor and instead I settle to be a Registered Nurse. I can't tell you that I have regrets for the accomplishments that I have made in my life because I knew that I had a passion and that was to save people to listen and above all to be compassionate, and sympathetic towards there situation no matter what they were there for, and yet I also had one promise that I would never pass judgment or make assumptions or guesses. I don't really know why I'm telling you this but I guess is because on August 02, 2009 my life change in a drastic way. I had not been feeling well for a few days and I was tired all the time and my throat was starting to hurt. After a few days I had two huge lumps on each side of my throat I decided to go to the nearest hospital which was Arrowhead Hospital after being in the E.R for a few hours they came back saying that they were going to admit me for more testing. So the next day they ran test still Doctors didn't want to tell me what was going on but had put me on an antibiotic call Vancomycin which is only given to patients who have MRSA or some sort of infection in my case I didn't have either the doctors kept telling me that my cultures were coming back clean but they kept giving it to me for about a week on top of that they put me on a medication call NSAID an IV that contained penicillin which they knew I was allergic but they did not put an allergy band on which after being on it I went into serious seizure and was transfer to ICU. While I was there the Doctor's claim self infliction and continue to say that I caused the swelling in my neck by injecting myself because the results of the drainage of the bruises on my neck came out negative even thou there was no proof of that. I explain to the best of my ability crying and all that I get these bruises every time and that I have no reason to harm myself but yet the Doctors wouldn't believe me. But to be honest with you I can tell you the reason why they didn't on March of this year I under went surgery on my stomach to remove four hypodermic needles caused from an abusive relationship I had encounter at the time, I was to scared to tell them what had happen and because I kept it to myself the Doctors at Banner Thunderbird claimed that I had Munchausen Syndrome even thou there was no proof that I had such condition. Because of that incident at that hospital my records were transferred to Arrowhead Hospital and the Doctors Looking over my case didn't bother talking to me they had already made the decision that this was my doing they didn't even care to hear my side of the story. After being there for a wk I also had an infectious disease Doctor examine me and she found that I had a small round spot on my left forearm she put in and order for a surgeon to make a small incision to cut out and see what was in there. The next day the surgeon by the name of Scott Anderson came in and made a small incision hoping to find puss and yellow discharge he instead found a hematoma also known as a blood clot he left the incision open and order wet and dry packing and left those as discharge instructions as well. After a few more days the primary doctor on the case came in to discharge me. I was discharge on August 07, 2009 with homecare to come out to the house and take care of my wound and dressing changing and to just pretty much follow up with my primary Doctor. That night I didn't feel right I cant really explain what was going on but I didn't feel right so my boyfriend Charles took me back to Arrowhead Hospital we went straight to the third floor where I was at and he talked to the nurses and told them that it would be a good idea if I got readmitted because he has a feeling I got discharged to soon but the nurses just said that the symptoms I was feeling are all normal to give it a few days that it will get better so Charles took me home. The next day the at home nurse named Marie from Supreme Home Care came to the house and she change my dressing but she noticed my arm was getting swollen around the wound area and my skin was red she took measurements of the swelling and explain to give it sometime it will go down. That night I was having fevers and chills it was as if my body was going into shock or something my stomach was hurting horribly I couldn't stay still for the life of me I kept throwing up and my arm was killing me I ended up staying up all night. On August 10, 2009 I woke up and the swelling on my arm was not better I felt like crap and I'm sorry for using that term but it's what I felt like. I knew something wasn't right and the swelling was getting worse not better so I went back to Arrowhead Hospital's E.R I waited a few hours they ran an ultrasound of my arm and said everything was normal they gave me more pain medication and told me that "The Swelling has to get worse before it gets better". And to follow up with my post –op appointment with Dr. Anderson on Thursday and see what he says. I looked at my friend in disbelief and said I have never heard of such a diagnosis but I went home in tears and suffering in pain I was just so disappointed I felt like there was absolutely no one that could help me. I started to maybe believe that this was some sort of punishment for something wrong I did. My friends try to comfort and help and Charles try to do the same but I was just so lost and in so much pain I pushed everyone away I just didn't know how to handle the situation that I was in. I kept asking myself in my whole career I've always try to help my patients in anyway that I could and although I know realistically I cant save everyone I know that at the end of the day I did everything I could for them. I just didn't understand why was it so different with me why couldn't I find a Doctor or nurse anyone that would believe me and to be honest with you with all of there accusations a part of me started to believe them I started questioning myself in saying " What if their right and I'm wrong". Charlie kept telling me to not let these people do this to me to not give them the power of them being right because that is not what happened. I continue to take the pain med and the homecare nurse kept coming out to my house to take care of the wound she would cleaned the wound very thoroughly she kept noticing that the swelling wasn't going down in fact when she measured it she compared it with the last measurement she had taken and she notice that it wasn't going down. I told her crying and all that I know something is not right Marie I don't feel well I'm having constant fevers and my stomach hurts so much I can't eat or sleep. She explained that sometimes the antibiotic medication call Clyndamicyn is really strong and can cause some really bad side affects but that I had to continue on them to finish the treatment so it can get better. So I did as she told me. On August 12, 2009 I went in to see Doctor Scott Anderson a General Surgeon for my post-op appointment so we fill out the paper work and he asks me how is it going? So I went to respond to him in telling him that the swelling hurts and that when I was discharge on August 7, 2009 my arm was not as swollen as it is now and I believe something is wrong and Doctor Anderson says again its all right " Swelling has to get worse before it gets better" I told him please doctor Anderson that is not a diagnosis my arm is killing me so like every other Doctor he goes well would you like more pain medication I just looked at him and said no thank you and just walk out of the office and I turned back and said I really hope and pray that what you are telling me is right Dr. Anderson. My friend Liz took me home I was exhausted I was really lethargic and just really hot a few hours passed on I was able to fall asleep finally. Then I notice my arm was even bigger and just beat red I couldn't even touch at all and it was so hard to hold up on my own so I put the sling on to make it better and I ended up calling Doctor Anderson to see if maybe I can try a compression sleeve for my arm I left the message with his nurse she said she will call me right back to see what he wants me to do, I waited and waited in tears and I never heard back. The remainder of the day I paced all over my house just suffering in tears just kept crying and crying I didn't know what to do I felt as thou I was dying and there was nobody out there to help me or listen I had never felt so much pain in my life and most of all I felt so alone and all I wanted to do is give up but I couldn't I didn't want my kids to be without a mother. Finally the night had approached I fell to my knees and cried to Jesus I beg and pleaded for help to please don't abandon me but to please give someone the compassion and wisdom to please be able to hear me and help me but to please hang on and to not take me yet please that I know you decide who dies and who lives but to please give me a chance to see my kids grow up to please not allow me to do what my parents did to me to them please. I then finally fell asleep and on August 14, 2009 I woke up screaming I could not move my fingers I didn't even have feelings on them on any part of my arm it felt as thou something was eating at my skin a horrible, horrible feeling I was screaming from all the pain Marie the homecare nurse came she couldn't even touch my arm it was really beat red and the swelling was triple it sizes and she told me to go to the hospital now and to not wait so my friend Liz rushed me to Arrowhead Hospital E.R. the nurses started doing their screening and asking questions and then they start of by telling me that I cant keep coming back for pain medication because its not that kind of hospital. Since I was in excruciating pain and in no mood for accusations I very politely told the nurse that I'm not a junkie and I'm not here for pain medication I'm here because of my arm and I asked her if she was blind or could she not tell that my arm does not look right they took me back right away I demanded to talk to Chief of staff of the hospital because I had had it with all the other doctors not listening to me and or stop accusing me of self infliction later two Doctors were appointed to my case they ran blood work and test and performed and ultrasound of my arm to see if my blood was clotting and then they wanted to do a ct scan of my arm to see if they can see it better I was in so much pain I couldn't even move my arm but the hospital would not give me pain meds just yet after hours of being there and we didn't know what was going on it became frustrating. My friend Liz went to ask the doctor what was going on and all he said is that they are still running some test but that my white blood count didn't look good he said it was very high but they are waiting for a specialist. At around 9pm a clock that night a doctor comes in and tells my friend and me that arrowhead hospital does not have a hand and arm specialist and that I have to be transfer to a hospital called Banner Good Samaritan to see a specialist. They put me in an ambulance right away my blood pressure was really low from the infection they said so I had to get they're pretty quick when I got there I met a Doctor by the name of Dr. Steven D. Bastian who said I had a very bad infection called Naucratis Fasciitis a flesh eating bacteria and that I needed to have surgery right away. He went on to say that if I didn't have the surgery I could die and that he may not be able to save my arm but that he was going to do his best to save it. Seven surgeries later Dr. Bastian was able to save my arm I went through a lot of pain and suffering and still have more surgeries to be able to reconstruct my arm but my family and I are getting through it together. I cant tell you that it has not been an easy road for me since all of this I have had other problems due to the trauma of everything and all the medications I have develop what's called Sutu- seizures I have had both long term and short term memory loss and am currently working with my boyfriend and some doctors to get better but it has not been easy. Everyday I wake up not knowing who I am or where I am at. I don't remember my own boyfriend or my own kids. I don't know if you know what that feels like but for me its painful and frustrating to think that four months ago my life was normal and if I only had a few set of doctors that would really taken the time to have listen to me the outcome would have been so much different than what it is now. Some days I have good days and some days I have bad days. But I can tell you that I am not giving up through the little bit of strength that I have I will overcome this tragedy and I will succeed and become a strong women I will continue to fulfill my dream of helping other woman and I will not let this happen to anyone else. I have an awesome relationship with my lord and savior and I will fight to have my ministry and get my story out there so that others my have hope in knowing that they to have a voice in the world and it only takes one person to make a difference. So please don't give up keep fighting and together we can make a difference. God bless each and every one of you.